The Pink Panther 2 lacks anything that can be considered entertaining. Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) teams up with a squad of international detectives (Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Yuki Matsuzaki) to stop a thief known as The Tornado, whose been stealing famous artifacts around the world. This translates to 90 minutes of Clouseau fumbling around like a moron, falling down and saying stupid things while everyone around him just shakes their head.

Names like Lily Tomlin and John Cleese are also in this movie and the entire time I wondered “Why?” It’s probably for the same reason the rest of the cast is: it’s an easy paycheck. That, and remakes are awesome, right? Not so much. Martin carries the screentime workload while the rest of the cast floats through the movie as if they’re painfully waiting for it all to be over.

Slapstick comedy can be funny if done right, and The Pink Panther 2 is a perfect example of how it’s done WRONG. The plot is boring and predictable every step of the way; even I was able to figure out who the thief was immediately upon their entrance. When people do fake foreign accents in order to be comedic, it’s not funny. It will never be funny. Steve Martin’s acting is contrived and over the top in this movie, and that’s a shame. What’s even more shameful is that The Pink Panther 2 does a disappointing job of paying tribute to the series it was created after.

Question: Why did this movie only make $34,000 on opening weekend?

Answer: Lionsgate only released it at $1.50 theaters.

Question: Why did Lionsgate only release it $1.50 theaters?
Answer: BECAUSE EVEN THEY REALIZED THIS WAS A BAD MOVIE.

During the entire movie there was this couple sitting on the same row who was behaving the most obnoxiously I’d ever seen in a theater: banging on the seats, laughing, talking, etc. The jerk in me wanted to tell them to shut the hell up, but this movie was so bad it didn’t really matter.

The premise was kinda cool: A photographer witnesses a murder on the train, and finds out there’s someone called the “Subway Butcher” whose been doing it for years. He goes on a mission to stop the killer and find out what he does with the bodies. Heck, a guy that kills people with a giant meat hammer, then skins them has to be awesome right? Of course a good story means nothing if it’s poorly executed.

There is absolutely no character development whatsoever. And the more I think of it, the more I’m thinking there wasn’t very much dialogue in this movie at all. There were extended periods of the movie where we follow the main character Leon as he travels around the subway area, just stalking the assumed killer.

The acting was also bad, and the introduction of characters was so disjointed. Other than Leon, Maya, and the killer, I didn’t understand why the other characters were even there. There’s a cop that makes an appearance 4 times in the movie for a total of *maybe* 3 or 4 minutes, yet by the final sixty seconds of the movie out of nowhere she’s majorly invovled in the plot.

The worst part of the movie hands down is the ending. Once you find out WHY the Subway Butcher kills people on the train and what he does with the bodies, you will sit there wondering “WTF?” The story drives you in one direction, and the conclusion comes from a place so far in left field it hasn’t been discovered yet.

I would only suggest watching this movie if you’re one of those people who enjoys making fun of movies. That, and if the idea of *almost* seeing Leslie Bibb’s boobs turns you on (if not, stick to watching her in Iron Man). The movie’s only 100 minutes though, so it might not even be worth your time then.